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It has been a while since I’ve posted on my website and not on my Instagram page, but life has been doing its big on me. Well, I’ll say that a lot has taken place that will now shift not only my life but my child’s life forever.

I try to use my platform to be a helping hand for those around me who need an outlet and to bring awareness.

This post has been the hardest for me to write. I had a flow of emotions since it occurred and didn’t want to feel as though I’ll be judged. I realized that I shouldn’t be ashamed of what I’m going through because it’s bigger than me.

Most of you who know me, knows that my child has been diagnosed with having a developmental delay. A developmental delay refers to a child who has not gained the developmental skills expected of him or her, compared to others of the same age. Delays may occur in the areas of motor function, speech and language, cognitive, play, and social skills. Global developmental delay means a young child has significant delays in two or more of these areas of development.

I noticed the signs in his delay when he was almost turning two years of age and that he wasn’t doing half the things his peers were doing. I got worried. I blamed it on myself, the pandemic, everything. I knew in my heart that he needed additional support that I didn’t have the capacity and knowledge to give him.

With my child having a developmental delay, he was given an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) for his education. The IEP is a written document and process outlining the who, what, when, why, where, and how of instruction and related services that are to be provided to a student with disabilities. IEPs are built upon the strengths of individual students and are designed to help each student achieve success in school, at home, at work, and in the community.

With my child having this delay and catching it early, he was able to work with a speech pathologist & occupational therapist through a program within our county that has allowed him to begin school earlier than most of his peers to ensure he’s getting those resources and help he needs to succeed.

That is just the beginning of the shift that is taking place in our lives. Throughout my son’s developmental delay diagnosis I noticed that he showed signs of stimming. Stimming – or self-stimulatory behavior – is repetitive or unusual body movement or noises. Stimming might include hand and finger mannerisms – for example, finger-flicking and hand-flapping, unusual body movements – for example, rocking back and forth while sitting or standing. In addition to stimming, he displayed signs of repetitive and restrictive behavior such as lining his toys up and non-verbal/verbal expressions.

I did what any other parent would do. I asked his speech and occupational therapists about what I observed. They instructed that I fill out an MCHAT and set an appointment to get him further tested. At the time, I’d never heard of it and had no idea what that could be.

The Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers, Revised (M-CHAT-R) is a screener that will ask a series of 20 questions about your child’s behavior.

Autism.

It never crossed my mind that my child could have that.

How was it possible?

Did I do something wrong?

As I began to do further research, it started to make more sense that this is most likely the reality for my child. No parent wants to think or hear the worst of what could happen to their child. The world is such a cruel place and I wouldn’t want my child to be treated any differently because of something he can’t control.

Two years later, here we are in the present life. After waiting so long to get him tested by the Neuropsychology Department at Children’s National Hospital, my child was diagnosed with having Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

Here I am two weeks later after receiving the news and my emotions have been all over the place. I will say this .. it’s different from having a gut feeling about something than when you’re hearing it in real-time.

So many how, why, & what questions raced through my mind.

I know I laid the foundation of getting him the help he needs. With ASD the spectrum is so broad that more resources are needed to ensure he’s receiving more than enough help that will guide him through life within the areas he may fall short. Also, as parents, we need the knowledge and support that will help us navigate through such a difficult experience.

I don’t think any different of my child. My child is my world and I’ll make sure I’ll go beyond this lifetime to allow him the blessings that are meant for him. He’s a very unique and bright individual finding his way in this world. And I don’t want the world to treat him any differently. That’s something I can’t control, but I’ll be there to protect him every step of the way.

As parents of children with ASD, we too need the support and knowledge of navigating the world of Autism. It’s not easy, but I know for a fact a great village will be a great stepping stone. And I can’t thank our village enough. They have been there through our lowest and will be though our highs.

I wanted to get this out there because I needed my platform to release and bring awareness to the lives of families navigating with loved ones who have special needs. It’s not for sympathy, but for knowledge & guidance.

I hope this post touches the heart of someone who needs it.

I’m here for you.

I’m supporting you.

I’m praying for you.

& I will hold your hand every step of the way.

The way in which one changes their outlook on situations they’ve crossed paths with.

The past year was one of the toughest years I’ve ever dealt with. With every storm that was sent my way to destroy me, I did not bend, nor did I break. My faith, the size of a mustard seed was the glue that kept me together. And of course, my child. What those situations taught me was that I needed to accept people for who they are and the actions they display are true signs of their character. Though their character has nothing to do with you, but everything with where they are currently at this moment in life.

This reframed my mindset on a lot of situations and the best thing for me was to remove myself and take the signs of walking away as a blessing. Though I’ve given people grace, giving myself more grace was the better choice. Of course, it hurts to walk away from people, things, relationships that once made you happy, but self-happiness is more important. I’ve learned that I don’t have to stick to the narrative of what I was going through, but instead grow through it. I’ve accepted things for what they are and embraced the beauty of the madness.

In the end, everything I went through this past year was needed to get me to the place I am now. My outlook on everything around me changed. I didn’t want to associate myself with people’s bs, toxicity, and whatever was negatively consuming my happiness. I quickly remove myself from things that no longer serve me.

Towards the end of the year, I began to feel very uncomfortable, mentally & spiritually. God was telling me to reframe my view of things I once enjoyed. So, I decided to do a 31-day cleanse. This was to reset and restore myself. I cut out social media, red meat, began to journal and read more, no alcohol, started taking daily vitamins, etc. We really must be mindful of what we’re consuming. Whether that’s mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Let me tell you, that was the best decision I ever made. I feel much lighter and happier than I’ve ever been. This time allowed me to be present with time and myself and heal. I feel everyone should take time and do this at least was a month or twice a year. At the beginning of the cleanse, I had no idea why I really did it, but as time went on, it came to me.

I was letting go of so many things. I was being intentional and setting the groundwork and foundation for how this next chapter of my story will go. It nothing or no one aligns with where I am currently, it must go. I challenge you all to take a step back, reframe your mindset of what it is you exactly want and take time to be still and understand it. Though, this challenge may not come off as easy doing, but have faith knowing that you’re on the right path. Be open to receiving what is for you and watch the blessings overflow.

Matthew 17:20 🤎

He replies, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”